One Hundred & Sixteenth : Merry Something

One Hundred & Sixteenth : Merry Something: "It's the 25th of December. I am exactly 25 and a half years old. Some other people are celebrating some other event(s) although I've kept thankfully aloof from most of that vulgarity. All it means is I've got no work for the week and recently people have been coming in later, going home earlier and generally lettings things slide. There is an increase in alcohol and food consumption, and a concerted attempt to 'get into the spirit of things'.

These can be seen as generally positive things. In fact, I'd say they were a practical necessity at this time of year, at least for those of us dwelling in the Northern Hemisphere. We have some sort of primal need for mash up about the time of the Winter Solstice otherwise, quite frankly, we'll all good mad and start feasting on each others flesh. Driven insane by a lack of sunlight, a persistent cold and an onslaught of never-ending 'flu and cold bugs.

That's what I reckon anyway.

Since my last entry I have thought the following :

1. It was very cold. I have been ill at least twice in the last two months as has almost every person I know. I know we're not even vaguely into the worst part of it yet, but I hate winter. Not because of any SAD issues (which, from what I understand relates mainly to lack of sunlight, not warmth) but simply because the cold makes everything suck. Journies are more annoying to make, you have to wear more clothes, attractive women in the street wear more clothes, fuel bills are higher, you have less incentive to do anything and so on.

Besides all of that, I just can't stand the cold. I don't really understand why, but the only people I've met who have the same level of antipathy to the cold are people with darker skins than mine. I was discussing the issue with a Nigerian law student the other day who told me that 'black people's skin isn't designed for this sort of weather' and thus he has every heater in his house on 24/7 during the winter months. Perhaps he's right (I have no knowledge in the field of dermatology unfortunately) but I just can't be comfortable unless I am in a warm climate. If I didn't love this city so much I might upsticks and move somewhere like New Zealand (a New Zealand girl did ask me to marry her the other day, but sadly I said I had already done the immigration-wedding thing once and besides was a little busy next Tuesday).

But to summarise : It's fucking cold and I fucking hate it. One of my (many) great ideas inolves putting outdoor radiators every hundred yards or so (perhaps at bus stops) in urban areas so it's never really cold. I realise this might exarcerbate energy crisis and/or global warming but I feel this is a small price to pay for my thermal comfort.

2. Remember that exam I did a few months ago? I have no idea why, but it took an age to get the results through. For those of you who don't remember and/or care it was on Housing Economics and Finance. I didn't attend the entire year. I did no revision, or even a vague clue what the syllabus was. Well, I passed the exam, got a Merit (i.e. a 2:1 in undergraduate terms) and did better than I did last year. Yet more proof towards my upcoming book 'How Education Damages The Intellect : A Case Study'.

However, since I didn't submit a dissertation as I said, I still haven't passed the course. I have another year to do the damn thing, and since my overall grade is capped at a 'Pass' now anyway (because of the resit) I only have to scrape through with the lowest of marks to get my MSc. But will I? Probably not. Still, it's only £60 to resit and on the forms they sent they didn't seem to indicate there was any limit on how many years I could keep this up, so who knows. £60 a year for access to the LSE Library + Computer systems, etc seems quite a small price to pay.

3. I am still doing two jobs. This takes up a fair proportion of my time. Both jobs are going OK I suppose, I have very little drive at the moment and I have been off sick for a while, but there is very little else to report in general. Most days I am tired which contributes to the lack of updates, I guess.

4. I am still horribly broke. I have borrowed from pretty much every person I know, yet I still don't have any money. I am hoping things improve in the New Year.

5. I recently attended a film premiere for my friends Richard and Jon (aka T&F)'s feature film : Anamaesis.

I may write on this subject again in the future, but it was quite remarkable really, the fact they had actually constructed an entire feature film by themselves, on no budget whatsoever or professional training and it actually worked.

6. Most of my free time has been taken up with either pointless drug / alcohol abuse, or playing Risk online (here for those interested). According to my ingame profile, I have played approximatley 167 games. Each game takes between ten minutes and an hour or so. Taking a conservative estimate, I've probably spent 72 solid hours playing it. It has, in conjunction with watching a little too much Pure Pwnage completely destroyed my mind.

You see, one of the main reasons why I am not a total enthusiast of Evolutionary Psychology is that it seems ridiculously easier to damage one's mind. I do not refer to things like alcohol or drug abuse, or head trauma - all of which can lead to all manner of personality changes. I just mean it seems quite easy to modify the 'programming' for one's mind even inadvertandly. For instance, a couple of Friday's ago I attended 'Rock' (i.e. the Mean Fiddler's Friday club night). It was an enjoyable enough affair, I drank a little too much perhaps, but either way it was the usual rock club affair. Much of the evening is a blur (as such things often are) but I do remember approaching the dance floor when two young ladies walked passed me.

Now, one must remember that sexual selection is one of the most powerful driving forces in natural selection generally. Taking the evolutionary model, my brain should be highly tuned to evaluation, surveying and approaching members of the opposite sex. A machine shaped by literally millions of years of refinement. And you know what I thought when these two young girls walked past me? Did I reflect on their youth? Their pale skin? Their scandalously sluttly attire?

No, I did not.

The thought I genuinely had was 'Hmmm, leaving Asia so they can get a territory card.' Honestly. It took a moment to reflect that I had in fact flipped out entirely and was now confusing a rock club with a strategic war game for ages 11 and up. Sadly, this has not been an isolated incident. When on a busy train I find my mind dwelling on whether I should attack the man standing in front of me to weaken his border defences. Thank goodness for my laziness or someone would have been hurt by now.

I hope you are all well."